Maids at Diwali time

So, here’s the thing. For those who are not of my nationality, we have a wonderful festival, “Diwali”, the festival of lights. Said festival is celebrated by people of the Hindu faith. However, now, even non-Hindu peeps (self included) celebrate it with the same aplomb. We also have Id, a festival celebrated by Muslims. Both these festivals are completely different with only one exception. During these festive times we do a lot of charity work and share our good fortune with the underprivileged, starting with the domestic help, our maid, car cleaner, postman, gas delivery guy and the like. This is one common aspect in both that I have always found particularly pleasant; seeing as normally humans are a very selfish race and spend most of their time on earth completely indifferent to each others’ needs and problems.

I love the atmosphere of joy, generosity and empathy emanating during these times. Even though I am not a religious being, I salute this tradition and whole-heartedly support it.

Yet, this year was a horrible let down.

Just as I always do every year, a couple of days before Diwali, I set out amounts for each of my service providers and began their distribution. I started with my maids. To both, I accorded equal amounts. With a lot of love in my heart, I handed over the token amounts to them. Only to receive a slap in the face!

I was asked why the bonus was not an entire month’s salary. I was unable to digest this information at first and spent a few seconds processing what was said to me. Bonus? What bonus? This was not a bonus. This was just a token of appreciation. When I finally was able to understand that Diwali amounts had now been misconstrued as bonuses, I asked why it was that last year, when I had given even less, both of them took it with thanks and not a word otherwise. I got no response for this, but I was told that I have to give a month’s salary. Have to. No request here, this was a DEMAND. This was not going at all as I had expected. (Now, just so you know, the amounts that I was giving, were actually a couple of hundred less than their paychecks. It was not as if I was giving them a paltry amount.) So, I rationally tried to explain that whatever is given at festival time is supposed to be a token of appreciation, and be it 50 bucks or 10000 should be accepted with thanks, as has been custom for hundreds of years and more. I expected the matter to be resolved there and then, but, that was not to be. I was then told that everyone else paid them a month’s salary as bonus and that I HAD TO do likewise. The, “HAD TO”, was almost a threat, like it was being followed by an unsaid, “OR ELSE.”

My little balloon of love slowly began to deflate. Again, I tried to futilely explain that this was a voluntary gesture; there was no hard and fast rule that it had to be done. It was only done by those who felt that they wanted to. This was not subject to conditions and rules. It was an unconditional and selfless act and should be treated as such. Here, again, I hoped in vain that what I was saying would get through to them. And again, I tried to get them to accept the money. I was almost pleading, begging in fact, for them not to make a mockery of what I held sacred in my eyes. But, this sadly, was not to be. I was told in no uncertain terms that it would be a month’s salary only. One maid blatantly even said, “God has given you people so much, you have to share this and give to others”; by others meaning her. Seriously? So now what? God has decided to bless you and make you his messenger, said message being conveyed to me through you? To this I say; my dear, dear, dear friend, you are but a mere mortal, just as I am, do not try to be anything else. This actually was the clincher.

That was it for me. I had just about had it with this line of discussion. So, I threw out an ultimatum of my own. My love balloon had begun to inflate again, only, this time it was being filled with anger. “This is the last time I am asking”, I said, “Do you want your money or not?” “Either you accept what is being given, or it’s done, and I take it back, and no one gets anything.” To this I got another NO! So, I took my money back and that was the end of that.

I need to stress here that this entire episode was completely disheartening. I did understand at that point of time that there were certain things my maids were looking forward to and that they had their calculations as I had mine.

Yet, I took a stand, because, if you really need something from me, there is a way to ask for it. A please usually helps. Asking nicely and politely helps too. One cannot throw non-existent rules and conditions in another’s face. That’s just stupid and an insult to intelligence. One definitely cannot come into another’s house and make demands and threaten them. This act is construed as extortion, bhaigiri, dadagiri, goondagardi (or in this case bahangiri, dadigiri and goondigardi). And one absolutely cannot expect to throw religion at another; as One has no business giving another lectures on how God would want them to live their life, because the way I see it, A) You are not God and B) Neither are you his messenger and C) Put a lid on it babes, your thoughts on this subject do not matter to me in the slightest! Whatever makes you think they do?

This is not the end, to make matters worse, a lot more happened after…

(TO BE CONTINUED…)